“If God created the world, and the world is evil, doesn’t that mean that God isn’t good?”

As one of my children wrestled with that question, it got me thinking about how much I desire for my kids to be prepared to face all the lies that will be thrown at them in this world. They will undoubtedly face hard theological questions, as we all do, and I want them to be able to recognize when the answers they are told are flat-out wrong. When this particular discussion came up, I talked to them about how to understand the nature of God in a fallen world, but I also talked to them about how to seek answers, especially when something they’re being told doesn’t line up with what we know about the goodness of God.

Unfortunately, many of those lies and misunderstandings come straight out of our churches and ministries. As much as I want to protect my kids from it, misuse of scripture is rampant, and wolves in sheep’s clothing are out there. When trusted leaders use the Bible for their own corrupt purposes, it causes so much damage to the body of Christ. I pray that my husband and I give our children the tools to maintain their faith in the midst of so much abuse, because God is so worthy and wonderful, despite the hurt caused by people misrepresenting Him.

When I was faced with manipulation tactics by other believers, I didn’t want to believe it was happening. It’s so confusing and disorienting to hear truths being twisted for the sake of avoiding accountability. Not much else makes you feel more hated than someone dismissing your spiritual well-being in favor of peddling lies with the intent to discredit you.

I never, ever want someone I love to go through something like that, but as desperately as I want to protect them, those I love will experience lies and deceit. Here are some concepts that I encountered, and the biblical truth about each one:

“Sometimes you do the wrong thing for the right reason.” – Sin is never something to be justified. Unrepentant sin causes damage in your own life and in the lives of people around you. There is never a ‘right’ motive for sin. The motivation is always self, whether it’s self-preservation, image protection, avoiding discomfort, etc. You can lie to yourself and claim that you’re doing it for the ‘right’ reasons, but there’s no such thing – sin is sin. 

“If your sin hurts someone, who cares? Confess it and move on.” – Of course we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over our mistakes, and while yes, Christ’s work on our behalf frees us from guilt and shame, an attitude like this doesn’t right the relationship between you and the person you hurt. And that is what we are called to do – love one another. We should absolutely care if we have hurt someone. If we go to leave our sacrifice at the altar and remember our brother has something against us, we drop everything and go be reconciled to our brother. That comes straight from scripture. (Matthew 5:23-24)

Forgiveness – Any Christian knows that we are called to forgiveness; it’s the cornerstone of our belief system. We forgive one another as Christ forgave us. However, this concept can be weaponized when wielded by someone who is trapped in sin. Bullies’ expectations of forgiveness goes beyond the biblical mandate – they believe you should partner with them in sweeping it under the rug and pretending it never happened. They want you to continue to trust and respect them, or at least pretend that you do, so that there isn’t a risk to their reputation. Basically, they want reconciliation without repentance. But you aren’t obligated to give them that.

I never want my children to be manipulated into believing that they aren’t allowed to stand up for themselves when they’ve been wronged. Relationships are hard, and we should desire to forgive and reconcile, but that absolutely does not mean subjecting ourselves to abuse and pretending it isn’t devastating us. 

Sin causes a barrier in our relationship with God until we turn back to Him. In the same way, sin causes a barrier in our human relationships, and the responsibility to restore fellowship rests on the person who did the wrong. We can forgive and move on, but it’s so much harder and heartbreaking when the offender refuses to do the right thing.

“None of us is any better than anyone else” – This is a hard one because positionally, it’s true. Someone might say this and quote Romans 3:23: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” We are absolutely made righteous by the blood of Christ, and not of our own doing. However, Romans goes into detail about what the result of that gift should be: “Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!” (Romans 6) 

We are called to sanctification, to become more and more like Christ in our walk with God. At any point in time, some of us are doing that while others are not. In our desire to spread the gospel, we should want to encourage one another to live in obedience to God, giving Him the honor that He deserves. We have a choice every day to pursue God or not, and part of the way we do that is by honoring one another in truth.

Christians whose relationship with God is in good standing WANT to forgive and are desperate for reconciliation. You can be sure that if someone is not interested in resolving a conflict with you in a biblical manner, there is an issue in their spiritual life. No one can use the argument that because you’re not perfect, they can continue to hurt you, and you just have to deal with it. That is a grievous offense against the very nature of God.

Having heard about many more of these types of deceptive ideas, I am all too aware of how they can have devastating results, including Christians leaving their faith behind, or at least leaving church behind. Biblical literacy is so important in our walk with God. Thankfully, when you know scripture yourself, you can separate truth from lies, and you can recognize when something is of God and when it isn’t.

I hope that my kids discover, in a deeply personal way, how absolutely good God is in spite of the wickedness in the world. As parents who desire the best for our children, let’s teach them who God really is, because He alone can be trusted – He is our only hope. Let’s teach them what it means to seek His face and live purposefully. It’s our defense in all the battles that this fallen world offers to us.